Unrequitted Love

 

Do you know how it feels to go out on a limb and ask for a chance? Do you know how it feels to want to touch someone, and have them push you away? Do you know how it feels to listen to you talk about your past while I dream of our future? Do you know how it feels to wait for you to call me? Do you know how it feels to text you and wait and wait and wait for you to reply? Do you know how it feels to be excited about spending time with someone and having them cancel it? And worst of all, canceling it to see your friends or do something with someone else? Or the ultimate, canceling it only minutes after you ask?

 

Do you know how it feels to cook someone dinner and have them not turn up? Do you know how it feels to tell someone how much you mean to them by sending them a card or giving them a present and not have them acknowledge it? Do you know how it feels to see someone that has slept or been with you only recently and have to feel strong? Do you know how it feels when I see your car or your dog or your family and get reminded of you? Do you know how it feels to ask someone to try and have them say it would be a lie? To say no? To say it's not worth it? Do you know how it feels to hear that the person you're crazy about wants to be with other girls? Do you know how it feels to be rejected in public, not once, not twice, but many a time? Do you know how it feels to be rejected in front of your ex-girlfriend? Do you know how it feels to work up the courage to talk to you, to call you, to text you, to email you? Do you know how big my smile is when you just look at me? When you talk to me a little longer? When you hug me or just touch me? Do you know how excited I feel when you ask me to see you? Do you know it makes my day to see you drive by in your car?

 

Do you know that I cry everyday? Do you know I don't know what it feels like to be cared by somebody? Do you know I don't know what it feels like to hold a man's hand down the street? Do you know that no one has ever thought I was worth dinner at a restaurant? Do you know how I felt when I found out you were seeing and sleeping with other people? Do you know that I dreamt and wanted you when you were doing that? Do you know that you were everything I wanted? Do you know that when I found out who you truly were, I realized you were everything I had been trying to avoid my whole life? Do you know how it feels to think someone was amazing and have them disappoint you as you realized what they were capable of? That they are exactly the same as the rest. That they were actually a stone when you were looking for a diamond. Do you realise that one day I will wake up and forget you? You probably already wake up and I am gone. I am nowhere in your thoughts.

 

But we are never going to get another chance again. We can't start over and make it right. We can't take back things said and done. Our lives will not cross again, our paths won't lead to each other and I am not so much sad that I have lost you, I am sad that you didn't try and didn't make the most of our time. Because what if we were meant to be. What if we were going to save each other but we didn't really give it a chance. I guess we will never know. But i know next time it will be better and the next guy will be luck y to have me.

 

Unwanted Love

 

Then there's the experience where you don't want the person. They are very nice people but you don't want anything to do with them. They call you, pestering you, writing love letters and you just sit there thinking, why couldn't it be so and so, not this idiot. That's a bit mean, but sometimes these people who do that, declaring their undying love and whatnot, don't even know me. It's like their in love with the idea of love, not me. I had this one guy who I dated for awhile, who called me consistently. Even when I left overeseas, he could call me and call me, I ended up changing my cell phone company because he was bugging me that much. The company had better cell rates anyways and their deals on cells phones were excellent. He ended up getting my number again anyways, but I changed cell numbers, not cell companies this time. It was kind of sad seeing him like that, so desperate and he was cute. Then I think, is that how some guys must feel about me? Desperate?! Oh well, at least I got a new cell phone.